How to annoy people
I'm not going to ask why you might want to annoy someone. That's your business. But I'm going to tell you how to do it professionally.
Most people think that annoying someone is simply a matter of saying something direct and blatent. A brief analysis shows this does not work. Your target will respond with a couple of expletives, then call you an idiot and leave. The whole interaction is over in 15 seconds. And 15 seconds does not annoyance make. Not on my clock.
So how is it done professionally?
First you need to uncover a basic fact about your target. It can be any fact but it needs to be something they are really serious about. Don't over analyze this. One good fact is all you need. Let's take an example: suppose your target is a dog lover and specifically they own and love English Sheep Dogs. Then you begin the process with a critical opening statement..
"I love English Sheep Dogs, they are so cute. I've always wanted one but a friend of mine says they pee on your furniture".
This is a strategic opening statement and notice the key element. Indirection. It's not you making this claim, you are simply repeating what you friend said. Of course there is no friend.
Your target will get annoyed, but not with you..
"Your friend is wrong, they don't pee on furniture. Trust me I know".
You then continue as if you never heard this..
"I suppose peeing is not so bad but my friend also said they lick their fur and this causes them to throw up all over the place".
Now your target will get noticable agitated. But again they cannot attack you..
"That's crazy. Your friend has no idea what they are talking about".
You continue...
"And according to my friend they often get diarrhea and it's very messy.
Now your target is seriously annoyed..
"What does your friend do? He's a f***ing idiot".
Then you proceed with a clanger..
"He's a Vet. Has a huge practice in London, Kensington I think".
Tech Notes:
This is just a brief outline. To learn the full details consider taking my 3 day intensive workshop. The cost for this unique workshop is just $132,000 and that includes food and accomodation. You also recieve a copy of my award winning book, "How not to get annoyed with exorbitant workshop fees".
Content written and posted by Ken Abbott abbottsystems@gmail.com
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